


When the Phone Rings in the Middle of the Night

by Avenger280



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Drunk Nicole Haught, Gen, Tucker is a creeper, Willa and Bobo are the adults in the room, Willa is a good sister, Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught Friendship, Wynonna is a bad influence, champ is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 06:33:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20385226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avenger280/pseuds/Avenger280
Summary: Willa and Bobo just spent a Saturday evening at Shorty's with Wynonna, Waverly and Nicole. They leave early and Waverly catches a ride home with Chrissy leaving Wynonna and Nicole alone. What could possibly go wrong???





	When the Phone Rings in the Middle of the Night

02:19am. 1943 Marzanok Ct, Purgatory, Alberta. The home of Robert “Bobo” Svane and his lovely wife Willa Earp Svane.

Robert and Willa have just spent a pleasant (albeit unremarkable) Saturday purchasing groceries, running errands and taking care of “honey-dos” around their home. They then spent their evening at a local pub/restaurant called “Shorty’s” in the company of Willa’s sisters Wynonna and Waverly and Waverly’s wife Nicole (a local sheriff’s deputy).

Upon arriving home, Mr & Mrs Svane concluded the day watching television, then retiring to bed to get some sleep. Just as they had relaxed into comfortable REM rest........

“Well I’m just outta school  
Like I’m real real cool  
Gotta dance like a fool  
And a message that  
I gotta be a wild one  
Oooh YEAH I’m a wild one...”

Willa’s phone burst into song. And not just any song. Her ringtone that meant ‘Wynonna has been picked by the Purgatory PD.’

“Gonna break it loose  
Gonna keep ‘em movin’ wild  
Gonna keep it swingin’ baby  
I’M A REAL WILD CHILD!!!”

Awakening, she snatched it off of the night stand and swiped it to “Answer” quickly enough that the caller didn’t go to voicemail (or, god forbid, Iggy started over).

Her voice rough with sleep: “What has she done this time?”

“Hey Willa! Well..... it-it’s not just her this time.....”

“What do you mean ‘not just her this time’ ???”

“It’s complicated....”

“Spit it out Lonnie!!!!”

At this point, Willa knew that Robert was familiar with her sister enough to understand. She proceeded to listen to Lonnie’s tale from start to finish (with copious amounts of head shakes and OH MY GODS along the way).

Eventually.....

*sigh* “You tell Wynonna she can just cool her jets in the tank. We’ll come by sometime tomorrow to pick her up.”

By now Robert was fully awake. He had an idea what the situation and was playfully tickling his wife’s arm as she negotiated with the on-call deputy.

“Well, you know what??? I’m going to let Nic be Waverly’s problem. That’s what she gets for listening to Wynonna. As for Tucker Gardner, he can roast in hell. Maybe THIS time Mercedes and Beth will find a way to bring his creeper ass under control!” 

pause...

“No shit. Champ Hardy is a brain-dead dickhead and this is just one more reason I’m glad Wave gave his jerk ass the boot!!!!”

Willa tapped the call off, huffed and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. Bobo tried not to smirk as he asked “Well, what has she done this time?”

“It’s not just her.”

“So I heard. Wanna talk about it???”

Willa sighed again. “Might as well, you’re gonna find out anyway.”

“Lay it on me, babe”

“Apparently after we left Shorty’s, Wynonna got a hair up her ass and decided she wanted to go to Pussy Willows. Waverly decided that she could just catch a ride home with Chrissy and since Nicole was already the ‘designated driver’ she should be Wy’s chaperone.”

“Oh boy...”

“Yeah. According to Lonnie, once they got there, Wynonna convinced Nic to cut loose and let her call an UBER to get them home. Turns out Saturday is ‘Trivia Night’ with a $100 prize. Apparently Nicole’s area of expertise is ’The Golden Girls’ and for every correct answer she also won a shot.”

“Oh god. I can see where this is going.”

Willa pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh, it hasn’t even started yet. The contest is almost done, Wy can practically smell the prize money and Deputy Designated Driver is so hammered she can barely stand up. Of course, that’s when Tucker the Fucker shows up. ”

“Still pissed off about the restraining order?”

“Oh yeah, but it gets better. The reason Tucker is at Pussy Willows is because he just got kicked out of Mel n Jan’s. And why was he kicked out? For fighting with Champ Asshole Hardy. OVER WAVERLY! My baby sister who doesn’t want a damn thing to do with either of them! So anyway, apparently Champ was drunk enough and pissed enough that he followed Tucker to Pussy Willows. They got into a shoving match in the parking lot, then went inside and immediately they both spotted Wynonna and Nicole.”

“And if there’s one thing Champ and Tucker agree on, it’s that they both hate Nicole’s guts.”

“Yep. So, Champ walks over to their table and confronts them both. Wynonna talks smack back to him and tells him to go fuck himself. Tucker follows him, sees Nicole and gets up in her face. The douchebag twins are pissed and Wynonna is spoiling for a fight. Champ takes a swing at Wynonna. Wynonna swings back. Drunk Nicole bows up to Tucker and tells him she has her service arm with her ‘Because I’m smart. I’m a cop.’ Tucker lunges at Nicole and grabs her by the throat. Nic pulls a pissy little pea-shooter out of her sock, fires it and somehow manages to hit the breaker box, knocking out the power to the whole damn building."

“Jesus”

“The manager calls Purgatory PD. Half of the whole damn force finally show up and drag Tucker, Champ, Wynonna, and one of their own fucking deputies to the tank.”

Bobo chuckled and shook his head. “I’m not concerned about Wynonna. She’s spent more time in holding cells than she did in high school. Champ will never learn. He’s a idiot who’ll always think he’s god’s gift to women. Tucker Gardner has never had to face consequences for his actions and I know Mercedes and Beth are done with him. BUT..... think about it. If you were Nicole, which would be worse? The humiliation of knowing you spent the night in your own drunk tank or facing the wrath of Baby Girl when she shows up to bring you home??? That’s gotta suck babe.”

“You’ve got a point.” Willa sighed and laid her head on Robert’s shoulder. “You married into a hell of a family sweetheart.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”


End file.
